You Get What You Need

"You can't always get what you want... but you get what you need".
-Rolling Stones

With Thanksgiving less than a week a way, I felt it would be appropriate to talk a little bit what I'm thankful for this year. Every year, I do my best to make note of all the blessings: my family, my health, my amazing friends and the opportunities I have just because I am alive and living here in the USA! While I am certainly still thankful for all of these things, today I want to talk about one thing I am grateful for this year, that I didn't really see coming: lessons.
We are all familiar with lessons. Ya know, those pesky, often painful things that are sometimes necessary for us to progress in life; growing pains. When I look back over my year, I see a lot of effort to make things happen, and in most cases... failure. Initially, when I look at these situations that have not turned out the way I wanted, I am tempted to think, "Is the universe playing some cruel joke on me, conspiring against me so I am incapable of getting what I want!??!" But after the initial injury to my pride wears off and I can look back on these situations, my vision is 20/20. Perhaps a different outcome may have been what I wanted... but it's not what I NEEDED. I got exactly what I needed. That's the thing about growth, it isn't always enjoyable and let's be honest, at times, it really sucks, because it is HARD! I'm convinced that I would rather sit through an extra semester of math than have to put up with pain and confusion that accompanies these "growing-pains". But I realize, if I ever hope to become what Abraham Maslow refers to as "self-actualized", living up to my full potential, I must learn to look past what I want and appreciate the fact that I am getting what I need.
For example: This summer I went to the East coast, NYC and New Jersey to be precise. I went out there with the intention and expectation of relocating in the fall. I didn't have a lot of money and I didn't know very many people but I just KNEW I wanted to be there and that God was going to help me make my dream of living in NYC a reality. Long story short, I did not move to NYC. Towards the end of the summer, when I realized there was not going to be a miracle that somehow allowed me to move and start school in Manhattan. I was CRUSHED... literally, devastated. I didn't get it, I wanted to be there SO SO bad. I was willing to find a job and live in a tiny apartment with a couple of roommates, and maybe even a few bugs just so I could be there!! Why didn't God not back me up?? Why did I not get what I had set my heart on... Well after coming back to Oklahoma, going back to school here and getting back into the swing of the landlocked life, it hit me. THIS is what I NEEDED. At this point in my life, I didn't need a supernatural miracle that was going to help me start my life thousands of miles away, I needed a lesson! I needed to learn how to set a goal and work diligently until it became attainable. I needed to learn patience. When I first had this revelation, it humbled me. There I was, throwing a hissy-fit because I felt like God had "failed" me, kicked me to the curb, left me in the dust [insert other feeling sorry for myself analogies]; when in reality, he provided me with something far better than NYC ever could... growth.
Sometimes I think about what would have happened if it would have worked out and moved in September like I hoped to. Well I don't know what life there would be like, but I do know what I would have missed out on here: I would not have another semester of school under my belt, I wouldn't have the adorable affordable apartment I have now, I may never have met the life changing people I have met since I've gotten back and of course, I never would have learned the OTHER lessons that I have learned this fall! By being where I am now, I have had the chance to discover more of what I'm passionate about and more about who I am. Could that have happened in NYC, maybe, but there is no guarantee. If things wouldn't have happened the way they did, it is quite possible that I would have missed out on not only those things,but more... When I reflect on what I have learned, I am convinced that there is something out there that not only knows what we want, but what we NEED in order to ultimately get what we truly desire. There is a constant battle going on between our ego's and our higher self. The ego says things like, "I want this RIGHT NOW because... well I WANT IT!" Our higher self is able to say, "Right now, I NEED this because this is a lesson I have to learn in order to become the person I ultimately want to be and in the long run get what I really desire". It shows growth, to be able to look at the bigger picture and choose what you need, even if it contradicts what your ego may want.
The events that keep happening throughout this year are teaching me to trust that even when I don't think it is working out, I am getting exactly what I need...

The interesting thing about getting what we need is that it allows us to grow, learn, and become...and in the end... get what we truly want. And for that I am so, so thankful.

What are you thankful for?

*Amour
Katie