For years, certainly more than I've been around for, women have been complaining about men and the trouble they have with the three C's; commitment, communication and connection. My friends and I are by no means exempt from this wide spread female frustration. We have had countless girl's nights focused on discussions about why the man of the hour can't just commit, why he can't try to communicate better, and why he can't "just cuddle" for once . We all sit around, sipping on our beverage of choice while sympathetically listening to the best friend in need as she vents about how the guy she is dating does frustrating things including (but not limited to!): not calling when he says he will, acting like an unsympathetic douche when she gets emotional, and not calling her his girlfriend when his friends are around. These are the things that drive so many girls crazy in relationships, the things that start the tears and drive us straight to the Ben and Jerry's! I think I speak for a vast number of girls when I say I would rather be caught wearing high water pants and crocs than experience this kind of emotional roller coaster! But here's the catch: That's what I say, but I recently noticed that's not always how I act! If there were two guys "interested" in me, one of them doing exactly what most girls want in theory (calling on time, communicating well on his intention, really caring, putting forth effort etc.) and the other one playing some sort of crazy mind game ("When's he gonna call? Is he gonna call? Does he like her more than me?") I would be drawn to the game player!!!! I am NOT proud to admit this, but I figured I would state it because surely I'm not alone! Seriously, it could be a guy that doesn't treat me the way I deserve to be treated and honestly isn't even that awesome for me to begin with, but because there is some sort of strategy involved to getting his attention I put on the uniform, learn the plays and get on the field! I say I want a "relationship" and I could give a good description of the guy I "want", but when it comes down to it, those guys I "want" aren't the ones recieving my efforts. So in a very Sex in the City-esque post, I'm going to ask this question, on behalf of myself and all the girls that may find themselves in my shoes. Do we want a relationship or do we just want to play games? Are we really into these guys that we dedicate so much discussion and thought to, or are we just addicted to the drama their mystery provide? I know personally, although completely subconciously, I have been choosing to play the games. Whether it's because I am bored and need some sort of challenge or because I choose guys that I can't have so there is no way I'll be tied down, or something totally out there in Freudian psychology land... I don't know. But I do know this... I'm tired of wasting my time on guys that aren't worth it! I'm tired of trying to justify and analyze the actions of guys whose LACK of actions are saying it loud and clear... they don't want to be with me that bad. I think it's time to give the guys that are willing to put forth the effort to do it right a chance and stop obsessing over the ones that aren't ready for that. With all that said, I still don't know if I want a relationship, but to the guys who call on time and listen like they care: Hang in there. And to the guys who don't: Game over.
Disclaimer: Guys, I realize girls play games as well. We suck at relationships just as much as guys do. I ADMIT IT!!! So please spare me the hate comments on how girls are just as bad as guys and accept this appology from me on behalf of all the girls out there who unintentionally play games... We're sorry.
Love this. It has so much insight and it really speaks to my situation right now. This is so Sex In The City-esque and I love it. It makes me stop, think, listen, and digest to see if I am going through the same thing....and if I am, to get out of it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sara!!! I love it when I can help... even just a little :)
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